The reason for me to avoid her and act normal was not because i’m shy. It is because I’ve bad experienced last time… I always tried my best to impress e other party, up till a point where they feel scared, or pissed off. And i dreamt the same scene over n over again… Now, it had returned 2 haunt me. I was so afraid that she will get pissed, so afraid I will lose her.
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What i was thinking is that now, i shld regain my confidence. I shld go for what is worth my effort. I will do whatever it take to win her heart. \/=^_^)/ Wish me good luck!
Mail this post Reunion dinner jus now… the time nw is alr 2am. CNY le… Yea!
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Gonna collect angbao and save it 4 a rainy day. My frens, des, so hao lian. 1k… haiz… what’s e big deal, His parent give him big angbao one mah. 4 me, I dun wan my parent to spent too much money on tis kinda thing, cos i’m a good boi… tt’s one of my characteristic. I always think 4 other(hl)… always so eager to help other but oftenly, i nvr take care of myself. Haiz…
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Thinking bout taking care bout myself. I’ll think of her. She always tell me 2 take care. She’s soo… sweet! Nvr had i in my life tt a person will be so concerned about me. No one… feel so sad. Feel so empty.
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But i know the good Lord is always there 4 me. Whenevr i’m feeling low, God will help me to get over with it. When i’ve prob, God will guide me thru… God is also e purpose of me being here. He had plan for me- both here and now, and 4 eternity.
Mail this post AARRRGGG!!! This is madness… i’m bout 2 go crazy.
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When my sis saw me playin maple story. She also wanted to play… ok… fair enough. Ok, so i dl it into her com, create an account 4 her , but strangely, e game won’t start. Ok.. she get a little grumpy. I understand. Then i tried to find some other games 4 her. She gt interested when i tok bout games from cartoon network… but wth, cos i was tryin to find one and took 2 long… she goes grumpy again. Then i went off wanting to close my game so i can focusing on helping her. She so impatient… she complained 2 my dad. And i was a bit unhappy le lor.
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After tt,,, i still helpin her to find games 4 her but i heard some noise comming out from my room… i went there and WTH!!! Coz she angry with me… she took a marker n pencil and draw my room…!! I was like !!! I was so gonna KILL her le.. but i was thinkin… KOOL DOWN SAM… n then e “wicked complain first”. She told my dad.. n i was like bout to go CRAZY le lar… My dad threaten to cut off e broadband and i was…!!! If it was gonna be cut,, sheee will GET IT…
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And also she jus won’t listen 2 my dad… making him madder n madder… jus need to kool down… man… new yr eve… AARRGGG!!! She spolit my new yr mood le lor… WTH WTF AARRGG!!!
Mail this post I actually wanted to write my blog yesterday, but i was too… tired.
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A lotta thing happen yesterday. First i went to SR, then went all e way back to my sec. school in woodlands. Then had to travel all e way to harbourfront, since yu xiu organise a gathering at her house, also to celebrate dulcia’s birthday(hmm… mine is also near le… haha). Then so sad… i had to leave my frens cos i had reunion dinner with my mother’s side of relatives. I really wanted to stay… but i muz set my piority rite.
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And it was soo… nice. She is there to hear wat i wanted to say but nvr had a chance to say. And i’m also nw confused. Is she treating me as a good fren or does she light up the green light and allow me to continue? Anyway… i will always respect her decision… I never wanted to make e person i like feel trapped. I wanted her to have freedom.. but whenever she faces a setback, I will always be there 4 her… there to support her.
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In school, i nvr actually do anything that show, i like her. I dun wan to have rumours to be spreading all around. I’m afraid that she will get scared off or pissed off. But i can’t control it, and become too obvious tt i will show it out. So sry… sometime i let her land into a difficult situation. I hope she won’t mind.
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Last night, i also chat on e phone with my fren, chiwei. While chatting with her on msn, she seem unhappy and sad. So i called her, and try to understand wat happen. I nvr leave my fren alone whenever they need help. After much chatting, she felt better, i was relieved.
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But thinking about it… i helpped others off their sorrow, share their prob… wat bout me? I may seem strong and had no prob, but it’s cos i acted like one. Till now, only 3 knows hw i feel. Chiwei, Her and God.
Mail this post Hmmm… todae she was so sad… i was like, so worried lor. She cried and all of us were clueless of what happened.
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Today, when she come in, she had a frown on her face. And when i speak to her, she bochup me. I was like !! Did i do sth tt make her unhappy? I was so worried. After that, she cried. We were like all out to ask her wat happen…. but she nvr tell us anything.
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man… i was soo… worried. I was trying 2 figure out wat happen, when she tok 2 me. I was then relief to see she’s back to her normal self. But as for me… hmm… still figuring out wat happen…
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Then after tt we went shoppin… cos i nvr had my breakfast n lunch…Haf way i giddy cos i sometime will low blood pressure de… then have to go eat… After which i feel so much better. \/=~_~)/
Mail this post WTH… i actually fall in love again… hmmm… and haiz… she have bf alr. Heard frm mah friends tt she n her bf veri close one. Haiz… wonder if i got any chance.
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haiz… no time… no opportunity… wat m i suppose to do?
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And wat’s more, i’m starting to get carried away again… wat do i mean? I know how to be a gentleman, how to win heart, but… sometime when i get carried away… i do MORE than wat i shld do. Doing e extreme. Oftenly… leading to the other party becoming scared or pissed off.
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It is still back to my “no love” principle… i never experienced love for any1 except the bgr… no love for family… sibling… friends…(as in friendship). Being such a love-deprived child… i will naturally channel all my energy and focus to the only one i love… no… sry… 2. First is GOD. Then is the person i like…
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So naturally… i will do more than the thing that need to be done… so there’s anyone who is offended or hurt… i will have to say… SORRY… i didn’t mean it.
Mail this post Todae damn suan, choose cca. Mah fren n i chose 6 cca for trial. Haha… damn funny. We kindda sign up 4 everthing tt we tink is useful…
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We sign up for air rifle, chinese drum, rugby, music society, journalist, taekwando…
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The air rifle i even gt a bullseye lor… Damn pro or nt.. the rest all within the balck part of the target. haha.
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Me become all out for gals le lor… JC life, need fun, “frens” and gals… but the one tt attracted mi another guy faster then mi…
haiz… mi now veri brave le lor… even ask her out for movie. So coincidence tt e guy also date her on the same day… lol… haiz.. nvm lor… now fren girlfriend… i won’t snatch 1 lar… haha… soo… continue searchin’.
Mail this post woa… too busy to blog le… hmm… since the start of jc. And my grandma being in and out hospital. This mornin got admitted back again… Haiz…
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Anyway, jc life is sooo… damn fun lor. Like what my cousin say, you have to be enthu to enjoy the orientation. Me acted lik one… Soo.. kool.
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Totally change of image lor. Me acted lik me a leader… and its so fun actting as 1…
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And just yesterday just played my first game of bowling and haha! i got 113… FIRST game leh… but too bad my thumb was injured after tt, so second game 91 onli. And what’s more… today i go out with my friends and played the FIRST game of pool. And so suan… i won the first 2 games against those veteran. Then after tt… they wan mi to plae dota on lan together. FIRST game… but not tt promising… Y?… THey nt fair lor… 4 against 1. Among them 2 are pro… Wao lao.. Of course gt trashed lor…
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Like the proverbs goes, “Jack of All trade, Master of none”. I was lik tt, i can pick up a game very fast, but haiz… i never had the patient to master any of them.
Mail this post Yeah!! I love JC life… I love the orientation… I like to have new friends… Yipee…
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Haha… Anyway… Too busy to blog. Next time then blog!
Mail this post Hmm… I think I am soo… wrong bout something. I never actually feel that i treat her as a friend. Deep inside me, it is still struggling, i still like her. I tried to contained it and for a short while, i really tot i had forgotten her alr. Today, I dreamt of being with her, and the happy time we had together… It seem so real… It felt so good that she dun hate me anymore. Afterall it is stil a dream. But it make me realise she still the ONe…
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NO…!! This is so gonna stop… i need to be clear on something… wat i want now is friendship…. am i still trapped inside the “ANTI” kindda mindset? Really need friends to understand me. Only this will make me feel wanted. So that i will nt tink bout bgr… Really… i dun care tt much now… but jus needed somebody to tok to. But also, i shouldn’t interfere with others life… If they are nt willing… then be it.
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Anyway… I’m starting skool tomorrow. Remember, samuel. Socialise is the key. And try nt to scare them(as if i would).
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